An Hour of Writing Time on a Saturday Morning
9:00 - Alone in house! Perfect for getting work done! Allow self to check e-mail but virtuously stay away from Tumblr and various literary sites so as not to get distracted or discouraged by the high quality work everyone except you is churning out.
9:05 - Open story file. Scroll to where you left off revising. Read first few paragraphs. Mind becomes blank. Listen to dog whining because this is his usual dog park time. Become afraid to look back on the last revisions you did because maybe they actually suck which would mean the high you have been on for a couple days after achieving them is totally unjustified.
9:10 - Log back into e-mail. Find e-mail from writing conference to verify that the last day to submit story for workshop is tomorrow.
9:12 - Go to writers’ message board to see if anyone has posted on the thread for the conference. No one has, but someone has posted on another conference’s thread. You had considered applying for the other conference but hadn’t. Read the new messages. Dog has stopped whining and accepted that you are a neglectful owner.
9:15 - Go to other conference’s website. Read the instructions for applying even though the last day of the conference is today. Read the faculty bios. Peruse the list of workshops available. Realize the other conference is SO near to where some of where your family members live. Why didn’t you apply for the other conference instead so that you could visit them? Why didn’t you plan to at least attend the open-to-the-public events and also visit. Man, you are a bad niece and cousin.
9:22 - “Like” the other conference’s Facebook page. Check the page for the conference you’ll be attending. No one has posted anything new on it.
9:25 - Google bed and breakfasts near your family members’ homes. What?! There are so many! You have always thought that there was nothing up there. You are very wrong. Read about the histories of old houses that are now bed and breakfasts. Look at pictures of the rooms. Choose the B&B on a working farm as your favorite and get annoyed that the rates are not on the website. Pick a room to stay in…someday. Read reviews of the B&B on TripAdvisor. Picture yourself doing all the activities the reviewers talk about and get more and more excited about going there… someday.
9:44 - Add one word to story. (The word is an adverb, which means that at least one workershopper will encourage you to remove it along with the rest of its brethren.)
9:55 - Decide you need a cup of coffee. Disturb dog on the way to the kitchen. Whining begins again.
